Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. - Colossians 3: 12-13 (NLT)
I will try to tread lightly here beloved acknowledging that I am neither young, nor a woman. I feel compelled however to write based upon the increased vulnerabilities I see in young Christian women and the messages Satan has been able to sell them in their hearts. These lies then become manifest in how they portray themselves to the world. I see all the time brash statements about not needing men. Accusatory statements challenging all men as if they have somehow personally wronged every eligible woman alive today. Every man is suddenly a "playa" who deserves our collective scorn and every woman is a "daughter of the King" who deserves her prince. In many ways it is an obscene mixture of the lies the world sells regarding love and just enough Christianese to make us feel righteous. Beloved, there are no knights in shining armor. No one is coming on a white horse to save you from your wicked stepmother. Those are what is known as fairy tales. Soap operas are not real. I say this because the reality of relationships is a lot less glamorous than that. Ask anyone who has stayed married and they will tell you the work it takes on both parties. More importantly it take deference to God on both parties. It is God who sustains a relationship.
But we have to get there. We do not get there by being judgmental towards the very group of people we want to attract. The truth of the matter is young Christian women need to spend more time working on their walk with God and let God worry about who walks into their lives. All guys are not cowards or commitment-phobes beloved. Maybe they are just afraid to commit to someone who spends so much time telling them how bad they are? Godly men need the same thing as godly women - God. He sorts the rest out. Let us quickly look at the key verses today. The Apostle Paul couches this teaching as a lesson in fashion. It is time beloved to ask ourselves what are we wearing? When we get up in the morning we would never dream of leaving the house without checking the mirror yet how many times do we essentially do that when it comes to how we look spiritually? Paul says we must clothe ourselves with these things as holy people God loves. He chooses the term clothe for two reasons I believe. First of all it makes it clear that we must choose to do this. It is not automatic because it goes against our flesh and who we really are. Secondly, it makes it abundantly clear that we can choose other clothing if we wish. We can choose the opposite of what God suggests here, at our own peril.
Tenderhearted mercy. The first item of spiritual clothing God talks to us about. I have seen tweets and Facebook posts from young Christian women that were absolutely merciless regarding men. In some cases I get it that there may be some serious hurt involved in the past but God is supposed to be our healer. We circle the same mountain because we refuse to allow God to heal us. Mercy is not some afterthought beloved. The Bible says that one of the three things God requires from us is mercy:
No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. - Micah 6: 8 (NLT)
Not merely mercy but we are called to love mercy. Now listen; pain is real. Hurt is real. Faith is not an exercise in denial but rather and affirmation that the God we serve is above our pain. That He heals the brokenhearted. The Bible says He collects our tears in a bottle! Beloved, there is only one entity that wants you wallowing in your pain and living in your past and that is Satan. Please listen, there are an estimated 3,571,374,099 men in the world. They all did not break your heart. And here is the really hard part about the key verses. The one that did; you are supposed to forgive. Ouch. I know. I know.
Kindness and gentleness. Two more traits we have to clothe ourselves with. It sure seems sometimes as if too many young women these days are clothed with meanness and wrath. There is an old expression that you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar. Now I am unsure why you are trying to attract flies to begin with but let's put that aside for now. That larger point is about being sweet or being bitter. Making grandiose and sweeping negative statements about men is not the way to arrange for divine meetings. The saddest thing is when those Facebook posts I referred to earlier are then followed up with some reference to being a Proverbs 31 woman. Read that chapter again. A virtuous and capable wife is like fine rubies!
We are also supposed to clothe ourselves with humility. The opposite would be to be draped in pride and let's be honest with ourselves - we often wear our pride too well. We can see our friends in relationships all around us. Some getting engaged and others married. It wounds us. It hurts and we lash out. I wish I had the answers beloved as to why the timing of God is so drastically different for everyone. Why some find their true love at 20 and others at 60. That does however lead us to the last thing we must clothe ourselves in - patience. I see godly women settle all the time. Willing to go against Scripture and date unbelievers. Willing to settle for less than God would have for them if they would just show some patience. The Bible says the Lord is not slow in keeping His promises, at least not as some understand slowness. Would you rather have someone now who stands no chance of ever working out or wait for God's timing?
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech.Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil. - Proverbs 4: 23-27 (NLT)
It is time today to examine what it is that we are wearing spiritually. What are we choosing to clothe ourselves in? Look straight ahead. Fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path using the Word of God and stay on that safe path. Don't get sidetracked. Because do not think for a second that is not what is really going on. The devil is trying to sidetrack you. He is showing you all the relationships around you and playing to your pride. Playing to your pain. Playing to your loneliness. Remember, God knows how to give good gifts to His children. Beyond that however, He gives the good gifts at the perfect time. In the interim, pursue Him. Pursue Him with everything you got because here is today's deep theology. He is working on you just as much as He is working on him.
Rev. Anthony.
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